Monday, July 25, 2011

Our God is Greater

I woke up this morning with a song on my heart....we sang it last week in church and the Spirit moved through our congregation pretty seriously.  I thought I was the only one until Vanessa mentioned it at our 5K meeting the other night.   It was on our CD that we gave out as favors at Rachel's baby shower and it was on our original list of songs for her funeral, but got cut when we had to take some out.  It's playing, but here are some of the lyrics:  (sorry, I'm a music girl)

Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine

Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You

CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?

Things have been so hard and I feel like I'm no longer hanging on by the thread I've become so familiar with, but more like I've actually lost my grip on it.  I realized that I need to ask you guys to pray for me.  I know many of you do already, but I need extra right now.  I remember hearing this song while I was pregnant with Rachel and crying to see this truth come true. I saw it... I lived it. He shined light into my darkness, brought beauty out of ashes... gave me strength to get though... and healed my girl, just not here.  I need to experience Him like this again now.  I went to bed asking "where are you God?"  I know He's here. 

 
Things feel so dark and I'm growing weary.  I was not prepared for how long this road would be - or how everyone else would forget and move on so quickly.  Most people are happy to just let it be a part of their past and want us to do the same.  The most hurtful of these being the people closest who claimed to be so affected by her dying that they couldn't be there for me while I was pregnant. (you may notice there were a lot of family members NOT mentioned in Rachel's obituary... that wasn't an accident.)  I am thankful for your support because without it, I wouldn't have any.  God provides for me through all of you.

I woke up this morning and someone had commented that there was another article in the paper for Rachel - this time for her race.  I had asked the reporter to announce it was coming up and mentioned there were other mom's in this area who have lost babies to anencephaly and he wanted to interview them.  He wrote a nice article and included them too, which I hope blesses their hearts.  Here it is if you want to read it clickhere  Please pray it will help get people to come!

Please Lord help me to remember that you are for me... when nobody else is, when people are criticizing me in my time of need, when I feel alone... You are with me.  Help me to believe what I know - that I don't need anyone else or anything else.  God You are higher than any other, You are awesome in Power, There is none like You.  You are Healer Lord, bring me up from these ashes... Give me peace and heal my broken heart. 

3 comments:

  1. The song that always gets me is "Bring the Rain." I still cry every time I hear that song. We played it at Sadie Mae's service too. It just holds so much power!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stacy,
    I've been reading every day since a week or so after you started, and I want you to know that there are probably more people praying for you than you're even aware of. Not everyone has moved past you, and not everyone is judging the way you grieve. I think of you every time I run past the cemetery, especially on Fridays.
    The first week we were back home I wanted to run up and give you a huge hug at church, but then talked myself out of it. Forgive me for being dumb! I know you need love no matter where it's coming from. Better late than never? Know that I'm praying, especially for you and Matt. I can't imagine the kind of stress this puts on you both.
    -Amy Davies

    ReplyDelete
  3. Praying for you tonight Stac...love, Jill

    ReplyDelete

We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes